Transcend attachment… develop groundedness and presence… get better results!
Welcome to this information page for Beyond the Subtle Fears: Transcending Attachment for Hypnotists, Hypnotherapists and Coaches. Beyond the Subtle Fears is a five part online training through which I will be sharing key understandings and techniques for you to use in developing your personal grounding and deepening your connection with your personal power and innate resourcefulness.
Tales of Transformative Legends
There is an old story concerning the legendary psychiatrist and hypnotist Milton H Erickson which reveals something that is often overlooked by hypnotists, therapists, coaches and various other facilitators of change.
The story starts with another renowned hypnotist and contemporary of Erickson, Herbert Spiegel and runs that Spiegel had a smoking cessation client that he had seen several times and tried several different angles with and yet had failed to help stop smoking. It just so happened that this client had a business trip scheduled to Phoenix, Arizona, where Milton Erickson ran his private practice. Spiegel and Erickson were on good terms and often corresponded so Spiegel thought to contact Erickson to see if he would see his client (being curious – given Erickson’s reputation – as to whether Erickson might get somewhere where he hadn’t). Erickson agreed to see the client, and all was arranged.
As it unfolded, Spiegel’s client saw Erickson once only and immediately ceased smoking. Understandably, Spiegel was most intrigued to know what Erickson had done – given that he had tried several approaches himself and not got the desired result for the client. What had Erickson done differently? To satiate his curiosity Spiegel decided he would ask the client, who said something to the effect of…
“I don’t know… I just sat there opposite Dr Erickson and it was obvious that he had a lot of serious problems of his own (Erickson was crippled by Post Polio Syndrome), yet I knew… I just knew… that in that moment he was 100% there for me. I just couldn’t continue to smoke after that”
In 2016, 36 years after Erickson’s passing, there are many books on the market (possibly hundreds… some of them quite good) attempting to break down Erickson’s techniques. Of all the books on Erickson, my personal favourite is An American Healer. What I like about this book is that it is simply a collection of short pieces written by people who met Erickson or know him, talking about the impact he had on them as a person. No breakdown of ‘technique’, just testimony to his impact and influence.
We are opening a door here… Spiegel’s smoking cessation client stopped because of the impact that Erickson had upon him in terms of attitude and presence. It was how Erickson was able to BE with his client that served as the catalyst of the man’s change. The book An American Healer carries testimony after testimony to Erickson’s impact, not just as a psychiatrist and hypnotist but as a human being. And Erickson is not an isolated case!
In 1973 a pulp mill worker named Sydney Banks had a life changing epiphany. As a result of a throw-away line uttered by someone he was chatting with (“You’re not insecure Syd, you just think you are!”) Banks came to directly see that his experience was 100% the product of thought, and that his fears and worries were all essentially illusory. According to the testimony of those who knew him at the time, Banks manner and overall ‘way of being’ transformed form being up-tight and insecure to being very still, grounded and joyful. Banks also developed the capacity to move others to a place of peace and wellbeing simply through his presence and words.
I could recount many tales I’ve heard of Syd Banks and the transformative impact of his presence, but what is more interesting to me is that many of the things said about Banks are the same kind of things I’ve heard time and time again about Erickson:
“There was something special about Syd/Dr. Erickson”
“When someone needed help, he always knew exactly what to say”
“You couldn’t be around Syd/Dr Erickson without your life being influenced for the better”
And so forth.
There are other names I could name here – people who carry or carried with them a presence and gravitas that effortlessly influenced others towards greater wellbeing – but my guess is that you have enough of a sense already of what I’m pointing to. So instead I’d like to unpack it a little with you instead.
Groundedness (The ‘X’ Factor)
“Every six-figure coach I know has a grounding you can feel the moment you meet them.”
– Jamie Smart, Author of ‘Clarity’
There is a state of being that is both rare and powerful that I will call here groundedness. Groundedness is the state of being 100% centred in yourself, connected to the the present moment(the common parlance phrase is “comfortable in one’s own skin”) and psychologically needing for nothing beyond what you already have in the moment.
This state of groundedness is both powerful and palpable by others, and is hugely ‘psychologically nourishing’ to others due to its grounding effect on them.
Aside from the effects this state can have for others, when a person is grounded in themselves they have a full connection to the intelligence of their entire system and are able to create personal responses that are excellent and functional fits for the moment (remember “when someone needed help, Dr Erickson/Syd always knew exactly what to say”). Being grounded in ourselves connects us with a state of flow that enables fluid and creative participation in the moment.
In short…Groundedness gives us access to ourselves at our best – our innate wellbeing and intelligence – which is exactly what we need in order to do our best work and live our best lives.
Now, if you are reading that and thinking “how to I get that”, then you are thinking like most people do in relation to this. Unfortunately, that thinking is likely to have you looking, at least partially, in the wrong place.
The Buddha Nature…
“Every sentient being has the Buddha nature. The seed of Buddha means consciousness, the cognitive power – the seed of enlightenment. That’s from Buddha’s viewpoint. All these destructive things can be removed from the mind, so therefore there’s no reason to believe some sentient being cannot become Buddha.”
– The Dalai Lama
In Buddhism, the term ‘Buddha’ is used to denote anyone who has attained ‘enlightenment’s ‘awakening’. This awakening is essentially an awakening from and and awakening to the mind made illusions that create everyday suffering (both subtle and great).
The primary psychological forms that create psychological pain and discomfort are ‘attachment structures’ – narratives that place demands upon the world to be a particular way, and make such ways conditions of wellbeing. But, to quote the Dalai Lama again, “all these destructive things can be removed from the mind, so therefore there’s no reason to believe some sentient being cannot become Buddha.”
Or we could say “grounded in everything they are beyond their egoic stories of need and lack”.
Enlightenment? OK… but let’s keep this real!
“So James, are you saying that groundedness means walking around all Zen-like and serene all the time?”
– Hypothetical Voice of objection
No, not at all. Groundedness is just a base for living from, and it serves as a source for many different manifestations. Joy, humour, fun, mischievousness, intense focus, playfulness etc. It is not a rigid way of being at all, just an opening of ourselves to our wellbeing and full-system intelligence that we so often keep ourselves from with mind-made neediness and insecurity. That’s all. Freeing yourself from the attachments does not mean that you will become a spiritual cliche, just more fully you in all your potential.
So what’s the tech? What are we going to learn from this Programme?
“Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.”
– The Zhuangzi
The aim of this programme is simple – to share understandings, knowledge and techniques that will serve you in unhooking yourself from mind-made attachments.
I have mentioned Buddhism above, but really just to borrow some frames for the purpose of communication. What I am sharing here is not strict Buddhism by any means, though there is influence in there. There is also influence form my time spent with…
The Work of Byron Katie
And a whole bunch more.
The common denominator to all this is that everything I am sharing is stuff that I have used and GOT RESULTS with myself in transcending my own web of attachments (I’m pretty unhooked these days, but a thread or two will come up from time to time).
To be clear, this programme is about YOU transcending your attachments and developing powerful groundedness, so as you can be yourself at your best, most present and most creative with your clients (and elsewhere in your life).
The added bonus is that you can use what you learn with your clients to to help them make powerful shifts.
However, do see that as the added bonus – go there first yourself or you will be in the position of ‘trying to shoot a cannon from a canoe’.
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James Tripp – Beyond the Subtle Fears Contains: Video, PDF´s